The bathroom is your friend!

  One of the common mistakes so many of us make is not taking a break when we need to. We try to “power through” Which usually only makes things worse. Especially in high stakes situations, continuing an encounter without your composure can lead to mistakes, missteps and mischief. This is why I tell my clients: “When you are losing or have lost your composure GO TO THE BATHROOM” As an in-house lawyer, clients could approach me just about anywhere. In the hallway. The elevator. The lunch line. Over time I realized that the bathroom stall was the ONLY place I could go where no one could engage me in conversation – most of the time at least lol. The toilet was the place where I could take time. To think By myself. No one was outside tapping their foot, eying their watch and waiting for me to emerge. I could cry or shake my fist at heaven At my colleagues Or the powers that be I could breathe. Ground. And center. Re-establish my confidence. Re-connect with my inner strength. Re-build my internal boundaries. I could even develop a plan if needed. That’s why I say that sitting on the toilet is a blessing. So the next time you feel yourself losing it – no pun intended 😉 Take a break. Go to the bathroom…it will serve you well in so many ways!   With...

My Little Blue Pill – Guide to Holiday Happiness!

Last night I lost my sleeping pill. Somewhere between the family room and the kitchen, it fell off my tray and disappeared. A tiny little pill. With powerful results. Two very curious kittens. Potentially lethal results. Unlike prior times, I didn’t start beating myself up for not noticing when that little thing went missing. I didn’t curse myself for changing my routine and placing my pills on the tray instead of in my hand. Instead, I got to work to find it. I slowly walked my path a few times, doing my best to “soften” my eyes and really look at where I was walking. This often does the trick when things disappear. Not this time. So I got closer to the ground and did that sweep again. Nada. I was reluctant to bring out the vacuum cleaner – those little pills are valuable. 🙂 I knew it was there. I just couldn’t see it. “Aha!” I thought. “This is why the NCIS agents use those bright flashlights when they’re looking for evidence.” So I got my NCIS-type flashlight, turned out the lights and started to slowly scan the floor. And there it was. My little blue pill on the blue stripe of the rug on the kitchen floor. SCORE! Kitty disaster averted. Pill not wasted. And… what a great metaphor. Turning out the lights allowed me to focus at the end of the light-beam and not get distracted by the rest. This was the gift of my lost pill. I found it when I chose only to focus on what matters. What a great piece of everyday wisdom. Focus on what matters....

Curiosity and the Sacred No

Hello Beautiful Being! First of all, I want to welcome all the new people who have recently joined this growing community. Whether you came as a result of MOJO or because Amy Ahlers shared my LOTUS Wisdom ebook with you or because you saw one of my posts on Facebook, it warms my heart to have you here and I’m grateful that you said YES when you did. It has finally stopped raining here in Northern California and I feel myself slowly emerging from the cocoon I retreat to during the quiet dark of winter. As many of you know, after almost two years without another beating heart in my house, I brought two kittens home in late October. Having sisters Ginger and Molly around this winter has been a joy. They make me laugh out loud as they go crazy chasing their own tails (and each others), swatting at their own reflections in the mirror and playing soccer with anything they can find! Most of all, though, I love watching how curious kittens are about everything. From the washing machine to the toilet to the rain falling outside, they check out everything. The other day Molly (the one in the photo) even crawled inside the dishwasher! What if… we got curious the way young children and kittens do? What if… instead of reacting to our feelings, we got curious instead? What if… we followed the “why” thread to the source of our feelings and then RESPONDED to the situation instead of reacting? Here’s an example of what I’m talking about. I hate to disappoint other people. So more often than not,...

You Are Unique

As many of you already know, I became a grandmother for the first time in December when my son’s fiancé gave birth to Allie Michelle. I spent the Christmas holiday cocooned in newborn love and wonder with the three of them in Washington state. It was the best Christmas present ever!   Outside, the world was still spinning, but inside, there was only the baby and this deep sense of gratitude and awe. Gratitude that mom and baby are healthy, that dad has time off of work to enjoy his first-born, that Grandma from California could be there to experience the joy. Gratitude that for the first time in years, my son and I were together without a single fight.    Being in the presence of a newborn is awe-inspiring. Here is this little human being who until recently was safely ensconced in her mama’s womb.     Everything about her is perfect. Tiny fingers with perfectly formed fingernails. Tiny little mouth, eyes, ears, nose. Working heart and lungs and the ability to communicate without words.   It’s a miracle. This perfection. Yes? YES.     So what happens when we “grow up?”   Why don’t we see that perfection every time we look in the mirror or at another human being? What happens to our sense of wonder?     The simple answer is that we forget.      We forget that each of us is a UNIQUE EXPRESSION of the same creative life force that brings us snowflakes and the leaves on an oak tree. That same life force that we see in nature or a newborn...

How to Get UNSTUCK

I have a confession to make.  When I launched my website, I said I would be sending out bi-weekly newsletters.  In case you didn’t notice, I didn’t.  Ouch! Not exactly how I wanted to start.   When I realized that I was going to miss my very first goal, I immediately felt the flush of shame. My inner mean girls took over and they had a heyday!   “HaHaHa.  We said all along that you couldn’t do this! “ “You BLEW IT, Tina.  No one will ever listen or trust you now!” “You’ve never been good with planning ahead, what made you think you could do this anyway?!” “You SUCK!”   I know intellectually that I’m probably the only person watching the days tick by and that many others have tripped up in the beginning.  But that knowledge didn’t help silence the negative voices screaming inside.  I was embarrassed and ashamed that I hadn’t delivered my first official newsletter  “on-time.”   I struggled with what to do, what to say, how to recover.  So, I did nothing.  And of course, that just made matters worse.  It was a nasty, self-fulfilling prophecy.  The more time passed, the more I beat myself up.  The more I beat myself up, the more stuck I became.   This is not a new pattern for me.  It’s something I’ve worked with my whole life.  I become so afraid of what others will think or say or do, that I am frozen in my tracks, crippled by my conviction that I will be rejected if I don’t do what I think I’m “supposed” to do...

Honor the Slowest Part

For most of my life, I was a pusher. Whatever the challenge, I could push my way through. Emotional, physical, professional. It didn’t matter. The name of my game was “just get it done.” Worry about the consequences later. Sound familiar?    And then, four years ago, in less than the time it takes you to read this post, everything changed. Driving on the freeway. Construction zone. Traffic stopped. The guy behind me didn’t. The damage to my car was easily fixed. The damage to my brain, not so much.   In that instant my life turned inside out and upside down. Nothing remained the same. Well, almost nothing.   Thankfully, the accident didn’t affect my heart, my soul, and my commitment to grow through, and beyond, whatever curveballs life throws my way.   But I’d never seen this pitch before. It didn’t respond to my pushing. In fact, pushing was the very worst thing I could do. Brains are tricky that way. First, they take way, way longer to heal than any other organ.  Second, every brain is unique in how it responds to injury and how, when or even if, it heals. What works for one person, doesn’t’ necessarily work for another. In this sense medical advice has something in common with microwave instructions:  your experience may vary. My challenge was learning how to live within my new limits, rather than in spite of them.  And, as anyone living with chronic pain or illness knows all too well, this is a hard lesson to learn.   In the beginning, I was a very reluctant student.  I fell...

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