Surviving the Gut-Wrenching Mistake

  I’m sure you’ve experienced it before. That sudden horrible realization that you’ve forgotten something really important…like, um, your best friend’s birthday. One moment you’re fine, the next it feels like the floor has opened up and swallowed you whole. The flush of shame comes over you and all you want to do is curl up into a ball and disappear…or slink off while no one notices.   It sucks doesn’t it? Being hit in the gut with the realization that you messed up BIG TIME. You can apologize. You can call and text and email. But no matter how hard we try, there is no way to undo what has been done. No way to “fix it” or “make it better.”   As I’m sure you’ve guessed, this happened to me recently. Yup. Me, the queen of it’s-not-possible-to-make-too-big-a-deal-over-birthdays. I forgot my best friend’s birthday. (For the second year in a row, she now tells me – god, can it get any worse?) Sure I could fall back on excuses (aka “reasons”) that may actually be true, but the stark reality is that I Messed Up. Pure and simple. I hurt a woman I love dearly, a woman  who has not just walked beside me, but often carried me, literally and metaphorically, for more than 20 years.   What do we do when we screw up so badly with someone we really love?    First and foremost, we have to recognize that the flush of shame will pass and NOT act while we are in it. That flush – you know the heat that starts in your gut, moves often...

Overcoming Our Fear of Mistakes

  What a wonderful time to be alive! Summer is here. The days are long. The gardens are growing. There is so much to be grateful for!   I am deeply grateful that YOU chose to join me on this incredible journey we call life.  I know that you have more than enough material in your inbox and am honored that you chose to add mine to the mix.   These last two months have been a whirlwind of activity, causing me to dream wistfully of those wonderful lazy summer days when I was a kid and the most important question was whether to stay in and read a good book or go out and PLAY. Ahh, yes, little did we appreciate how lucky we were!   Just like giving a new workshop for the first time, launching my website reminded me of the big plays we used to produce in high school– the intense preparation, the thrill of production, and the “let-down” when it’s all over and suddenly there is a vacuum. It feels like I’m learning all over again how to maintain momentum so that I can continue to connect, inspire and do the work I want to do in the world.   And that makes me wonder about you.  What brings you joy?  How do you respond to the vacuum?   How do you manage the let down and maintain momentum?   One of my personal tricks is to remember that the journey of 10,000 miles begins with every step.  When I feel overwhelmed by all there is to do, I remind myself that just like...

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